An Avila Report from a Special Anonymous Guest Columnist (8/25/01)

Hello, this is Body Snatcher Pod Sally reporting on the Avila Beach swims of August 25, 2001. First of all, I would like to thank Avila Ocean Racing for putting on such a fun and well run event (complete with custom awards). Second of all, I would like to warn you that the next time human Sally falls asleep, I will replace her with my plant self in her image.

We saw the footage on the 11 o'clock news of great white sharks eating a blue whale carcass in Corona Del Mar, and followed our survival instincts up to lovely Avila Beach, on the traditionally more sharky Central Coast. Bill Ireland was so scared by the news that he brought some of his family with him.

The only word for the race was really really cold. Although the guy with the megaphone (Pod Clay?) reported the water temperature as 58 degrees, I have only had my lips go numb, as they did in this race, in water around 56. Bill, in a clear attempt to psych out his competitors for the upcoming Maui swim, reported that the water was an obvious 54 degrees. On the Pod Morton Shivering Scale, using my sample group of 2 (eliminating the invalid data from the race organizer) this race weighed in as way 2 cold.

The cold, however, suited the Ireland clan, who did their best to stay in the water for as short a time as possible. Libby Ireland, an 11 year old, was the first girl out of the water and fifth overall in the half mile swim. To the amazement of her wildly grinning proud father, she then sat down and read a book as if the effort were a mere interruption of her leisure. Bill, who commented as we entered the water, "I hope my beard keeps my cheeks warm, " sprinted the mile to a corresponding fifth place overall finish. He took second in his age-group to some fast guy.

Marc W., unfettered by the fast fools who chummed up the waters at Corona, handily won his age group, taking second overall to some 15 year old kid who took the race out so fast that he was in a different ocean than the rest when we turned the half-way-point.

Editor's Note: Perhaps a pod has already taken over the Morton Salt Report. Sally is, after all, swimming like a weighed-down, water-soaked pod...Thanks Guest Columnist for the report! And oceanswimming buddy readers - watch the MSR for promised pictures of the great Avila race sometime soon!